I’m Not Homeless. I’m Just a Mechanic.
You’re not broke. Your money’s just in a toolbox that costs more than your fucking car.
Red lettering on a black Gildan 8000 tells the public what the grease under your nails apparently doesn’t: you have a job. It just makes you look like this.
- 50% cotton, 50% polyester: Soft enough for your delicate mechanic nipples. Tough enough for another round of bullshit.
- DryBlend® moisture-wicking fabric: For sweating your ass off while somebody explains that the noise only happens when you’re not there.
- Classic unisex fit: Because “professional bolt extractor and part-time contortionist” isn’t a clothing size.
- Medium-weight 5.5 oz fabric: An actual shirt. Not some tissue-paper bullshit with sleeves.
- Tear-away label: You’ve already got enough things irritating the back of your fucking neck.
- Black: Because you were going to make it that color anyway.
Front: “I’M NOT HOMELESS”
Back: “I’M JUST A MECHANIC,” with a wrench and impact—because sometimes you need pictures for the dumbasses.
Does not include a missing 10 mm socket, paid diagnostic time, or the patience to hear “my buddy can do it cheaper.”
Care instructions
| Wash | Machine wash warm (max 40C or 105F), wash garment inside out with similar colors |
| Tumble Dry | Low |
| Bleach | Only non-chlorine |
| Dry clean | Do not dry clean |
| Iron | Do not iron |
